41 Day Fix
The Powderhorn Condo Remodel Project Summer 2016
This could have been a simple remodel story, but it is much, much more. It is a journey into the quagmire of finding local tradesmen and managing a remodel project in the exotic foreign city of Boulder Colorado. You guessed it, I don't live in Boulder so the logistics of this project become ten times the stress level from day one. And on top of that...I'm particular, but aren't we all.
Long story short. We bought a 2b1b Condo in Boulder Colorado. Actually in an area called "Gunbarrel" eight miles from downtown Boulder. My oldest child will live there while a student and then it will become a rental. It is in a development called Powderhorn so for the rest of this story it shall be named Powderhorn, smote it be.
The home inspector Darwin found some water damage behind the tiles in the bathroom and the hot water heater needed replacing. We negotiated the cost of repairing those items in the purchase so they became priority number one. Just so you know, I hate anything to do with water leaking and being on the third floor you have to run a tidy ship.
But as it were, the rest of Powderhorn needed updating also. IT was live in ready and we said that we would just freshen it up...you know...paint the cabinets...put in new tile in the shower. Easy peasy. But somehow one thing lead to another and our plans changed...and got bigger...much, much bigger.
IKEA Kitchen:The Design Couple
You know, we need more cabinet space in the kitchen, so let's take out the soffits and who really wants to paint the cabinets...and that old dishwasher has to go and the microwave is awful and those counter-tops, and sink and stove and fridge...ick.....fuck it....let's just do an IKEA kitchen.
We started to dream about what to do and made a pilgrimage to IKEA in Sacramento. We talked to one of the kitchen designers asks she asks us how close Boulder is to the Centennial store? She says "Does IKEA deliver all the way to Boulder?" "IKEA only delivers 40 miles away"...I discovered our condo is 46.3 miles away...you will have to call the Centennial store.
Don't ever call an IKEA store...they never answer.
Yet somehow when I searched for this information, "The Design Couple" website came up. It's pretty self explanatory but they are a couple, that designs Ikea kitchens and they live in Denver. They measure, they design, they even shop for you. We went for it. I mean how hard could it be to design a kitchen that is 10ft long by 8ft wide? I found out.
Lindsay was great. After several weeks of back-and-forths, she came up with a Plan A which was an "in-kind" duplicate design of the existing kitchen and an alternative design Plan B that would only work if we replaced the 45 degree angled pantry and squared off the wall. The both cost the same except one was OK and the other was awesome.
Plan B: The Little Corner that Couldn't
The Bermuda Triangle Pantry and the Nevada-Shaped Bathroom Counter had to go.
There is a reason that triangles are NOT good for storage...they don't store shit. There was also a side effect of the triangle pantry, it created the worlds most awkward bathroom sink counter.
A simple shift fixed both problems. If we square off the wall we can loose that horrible corner in the bathroom and get floor to ceiling pantry.
So let's do it...so simple...as long as is isn't weight barring.
The home inspector Darwin found some water damage behind the tiles in the bathroom and the hot water heater needed replacing. We negotiated the cost of repairing those items in the purchase so they became priority number one. Just so you know, I hate anything to do with water leaking and being on the third floor you have to run a tidy ship.
But as it were, the rest of Powderhorn needed updating also. IT was live in ready and we said that we would just freshen it up...you know...paint the cabinets...put in new tile in the shower. Easy peasy. But somehow one thing lead to another and our plans changed...and got bigger...much, much bigger.
IKEA Kitchen:The Design Couple
You know, we need more cabinet space in the kitchen, so let's take out the soffits and who really wants to paint the cabinets...and that old dishwasher has to go and the microwave is awful and those counter-tops, and sink and stove and fridge...ick.....fuck it....let's just do an IKEA kitchen.
We started to dream about what to do and made a pilgrimage to IKEA in Sacramento. We talked to one of the kitchen designers asks she asks us how close Boulder is to the Centennial store? She says "Does IKEA deliver all the way to Boulder?" "IKEA only delivers 40 miles away"...I discovered our condo is 46.3 miles away...you will have to call the Centennial store.
Don't ever call an IKEA store...they never answer.
Yet somehow when I searched for this information, "The Design Couple" website came up. It's pretty self explanatory but they are a couple, that designs Ikea kitchens and they live in Denver. They measure, they design, they even shop for you. We went for it. I mean how hard could it be to design a kitchen that is 10ft long by 8ft wide? I found out.
Lindsay was great. After several weeks of back-and-forths, she came up with a Plan A which was an "in-kind" duplicate design of the existing kitchen and an alternative design Plan B that would only work if we replaced the 45 degree angled pantry and squared off the wall. The both cost the same except one was OK and the other was awesome.
Plan B: The Little Corner that Couldn't
The Bermuda Triangle Pantry and the Nevada-Shaped Bathroom Counter had to go.
There is a reason that triangles are NOT good for storage...they don't store shit. There was also a side effect of the triangle pantry, it created the worlds most awkward bathroom sink counter.
A simple shift fixed both problems. If we square off the wall we can loose that horrible corner in the bathroom and get floor to ceiling pantry.
So let's do it...so simple...as long as is isn't weight barring.
Friend of my Friend
Meet Susie. She was my realtor. She is awesome. She sent me her list of contractors, handymen and others. Referrals are the only way I like to find tradesmen, it gives me a great opening line when I start a conversation.
"Hi, my name is Gregg and Susie Donahue gave me your contact information...I'd like you to do some _________ at my condo." "Oh, you are super busy and can't help me?" "Can you recommend anyone?" "No? you don't give referrals...because...in the past your referrals have fucked up the work and now you just don't do it."
#respect your honesty.
Popcorn Out!
Like shoulder pads from the 1980s, the ceiling was dated and made the space look old and dreary. We needed to find someone to remove the popcorn ceiling and paint this old bird.
We met the Decheen Dorjee the painter (a referral from Susie) and agreed on a price to remove the popcorn ceiling, paint and remove/repair the soffits in the kitchen. Decheen works hard to earn your references...it says so on his business card.
For the next ten glorious days Decheen, Llamo (Tibetian Monk older brother) Tsewan (younger brother) climbed, scrapped and smeared mud and paint all over the condo. The popcorn ceiling was particularly difficult to remove as Decheen explained to me it had been sprayed over with a shellac or something...it was shinny...yet another reason I HATED IT...Our handyman Dean (who you will meet later) said that it might be shinny because it had asbestos in it and back in the day, the quick fix was to seal it in. Needless to say, I didn't visit much during while they removed it.
During the soffit removal an electrical wire needed to be extended because it stretched across that open space...and it had to happen that day. I called around and I could not get an electrician until the following week...but surprise...Decheen knew an electrician that he had met on a recent job and he just happened to be free..that night.
Electric Mike
This guy Mike was young fast and a super electrician. That very night, he caught onto my vision for the space with no need to explain twice and offered some options that I had not had time to think of. . Ressessed lighting? Yes. Plug above mantle for flat screen TV? Yes. Then it hit me...An electrician has been beamed into my Powderhorn and I need stuff done...and I'm an opportunist...so what am I waiting for....So let's replace every plug and switch and can you put up my new ceiling fans, light in the shower, new bathroom fan...and so on and on and on...yes, yes, yes. Cha-ching.
Mike was a God send. He dropped in, was eager to make some side money and knew his practice. And he loved to text (a strategic advantage if I every knew one) I called my wife told her that we had been saved...our electric Mike was good fast and eager and the out of the blue she asked... if he was licensed? I said I think so...he had one of those cool electrician screwdrivers. I mean...was our painter licensed? I suspect that you should at least have a licensed electrician and plumber...I said I'd ask.
The next day I texted him...."Hey Mike, my WIFE wants to know if you are a licensed electrician?" Mike said, "Yes...in Dubai!" close enough.
Demo Duty - I hauled it all away...dumpster heaven.
Did I mention that I was on the third floor of a condo with no elevator? And no one wanted to haul away any of the demo debris or walk up the stairs for that matter. But I did. Thousands of times. I got strong legs.
Plumber bummer.
Good lord plumbers are the worst.
Home for a week.
And onto the next 20.
Delivery Deliverance
So finally my delivery of the entire Ikea kitchen was coming. I glanced out the window and saw the truck round the corner and park. I walked down and escorted the two guys up to look at the space I had cleared for the delivery. A whole kitchen is a lot of boxes. And Ikea as you remember is FLAT pack. And I got appliances...the Dishwasher, Oven, Stove, Microwave.
So the two guys come up and look around and say. "We can deliver to the third floor." I said, "What?" I have installers coming tomorrow based on today being the delivery day. "We were never told it was up three floors." "What?" "I told IKEA!" They called their 'boss' and told me tough shit reschedule. I was at a loss for words. I waited up stairs for a few minutes, my brain spinning and then ran down to beg them. I offered them $200 just to do the damn delivery. The older guy went into the truck and talked to the young guy and came back with....$250. I also said that I would help them.
So we trudged all the items up into the condo and I had to go to the bank and get cash to pay them and they departed. I was fucking pissed. I called IKEA and complained and told them about what I deemed extortion and they refunded me what I paid the drivers and called the delivery service to give them a tongue lashing. The IKEA delivery contract specifically allows for third floor deliveries.
Then to make matters worse the delivery guy called me, harassed me and was pissed that I had ratted him out. I was kind of nervous that he knew my address, had my phone number and could hold a grudge, but I stood firm and let him know that what he did was unacceptable. I told him I would talk to HIS boss and let him know that they were...kind enough to take a bribe to do the job they should have done in the first place. Fuck them.
Pompian Construction
These guys are IKEA kitchen installers. They really do a fantastic job and were recommended by our Design Couple. They showed up and started opening the massive stack of boxes and began the arduous task of putting together all of that IKEA stuff.
My unexpected learning lesson for these guys is that. They don't 'set' appliances or range hoods...just the fancy particle board stuff for them. I figured they were soup to nuts, but on hind sight it's probably best to get appliance installers to...you know...install appliances. Even though they are built-in???
Countertops
Pergo Pergatory - Happy Birthday 57 cases
I got a good deal, but I had to wait for it. Home depot had a return of just about enough cases of high-end Pergo. I needed 57. They had 56.
There are NO GARBAGE DISPOSALS IN IKEA.
If you look at IKEA they have NO disposals under their pull out sink cabinets. Why? Because they don't work with them. But they will not tell you that. You find that out when the plumber is installing the garbage disposal. So you have to improvise and hack the shit out of a cabinet. Like I did.
Dean Carpenter the Carpenter
You can't make that up
Like tiling a soccer ball.
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