THE WATCHER

46 Degree's of Separation
 
July 18th was full of expectations, forty-six of them. You see, on the other side of forty-five is forty-six. Being a geometry lover, I am now one degree past the halfway mark in life. That is it baby, I’m on the downside segment of the big right angle, if God is gracious enough to let me live that long. Being forty-six is so close to death that I can see a faint shimmer of light off the curled scythe luring me to get my age on.
 
You see, way back when I was forty-five, I could lie to myself and say that I was in my early forties, a stud, a entrepreneur, a bonvivant. Now I’m steamrolling towards the half century mark like a sprinter on steroids. Usually, on my birthday’s, I briefly reflect on my life to perhaps glean some bit of wisdom from my advancing years and I now realize my significant accomplishments can be measured on one hand, with two missing fingers. My wife and my children are it. No Eagle Scout, athletic scholarship, star search winning, creative direction can compare to familial love.
 
Now I realize my dreams and my aspirations only serve as distractions for a life that is intended for higher purposes. Looking back at my life to search for some crumb of self exaltation serves no purpose. “What is behind you is not important”, a pilot friend of mine once told me. I can only learn from my many mistakes and move on fast, because I’ll make more. It is up to someone else to keep that list, my house is too small, plus God promised me he can’t remember me ever having one.
 
I have a friend who says he has lived his entire life with no regrets. He doesn’t even know what regret is? WOW! That is huge. I have spend entirely too much time with should haves and could haves, continually second guessing every choice I make exhausts me, perhaps burning calories, but not in a positive way. I think I’ll try the second half of my life differently, with a clean slate, 46 degrees of Jubilation!